reminiscing. missing.

I missed my grandfather today. I wished he could've been here in Barcelona with me. To show me the places he knew. That were his.


I've always felt that Barcelona was mine. Not mine in a possessive sense. In the way that a certain style is yours, or a habit. Barcelona was mine.


But today I had that sense that he was missing. This city where he had grown up. Where he had lived. That was his. Here I was just reminiscing about every day I'd spent here, without him.  Without him as a guide or a mentor. And now he was missing.

 La Rambla de Catalunya, Barcelona  

La Rambla de Catalunya, Barcelona  

attention, here & now.

The more a man knows about himself in relation to every kind of experience, the greater his chance of suddenly, one fine morning, realizing who in fact he is...
— Aldous Huxley, Island

No need for drama or stress. Get real with yourself the next time you're feeling angry or anxious. Where does it come from? Is it helpful? Can you find a better way to deal? I know when I have too much energy I need power yoga, and if I don't get that energy out it makes me all kinds of irritable. I know if my diet is subpar, I won't have enough energy - and then I need yin yoga and green juice. Get to know your body. What works for me may not work for you. What you read in one study about health will completely contradict another study. Get curious about what fuels you, what makes you feel good. And what doesn't. Your body is probably easier to understand than you think - as long as you're fully present and aware of the subtle cues your body gives you. 

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If you've never read Alduos Huxley's  Island, I suggest reading it. And if you haven't read Brave New World, read that one first. Island is his response to Brave New World, decades after writing it. In Island, Huxley creates a utopian society that exists on an island where mynah birds fly about calling "Attention!" and "Here and Now!" to remind the island dwellers to stay present. Meanwhile, the rest of the world lives as we do, money driven and confused. The things this utopian society does can be incorporated into our lives to create a healthier, more sustainable way of life. In fact, this was the last novel Huxley wrote and it almost feels as though he wrote this last book as a blueprint for how he felt society could best flourish. You don't have to agree with everything in the book to realize that he had a lot of things right. 

I encountered this book when I first started exploring my spirituality. I was raised Catholic, turned atheist/agnostic, and was just beginning to re-entertain the possibility of something greater than myself.  This came in the form of Buddhism, Hinduism, Christian Mysticism, you name it. Wherever you happen to be on your path, you'll get something of value out of this book. But I happen to believe that you can get something of value out of every moment, every conversation, every piece of music. If you're open to it.